capthlock_rage | (no subject)

An acid burn? Like what? Let me take a look.

[steps up, then]

... it was some kind of flying... pink thing.

It's the left one. Something that eats at wood got. Squirted. In it.

... And then it told me I was pregnant.

[examining Zuko's eye]

...Something that eats at wood? You're going to have to be more specific here if you want help. You flushed it right away, right--

...

Pregnant? In your eye?

It said I'd start showing within the hour.

You can't get pregnant in your eye, Zuko.

...right, doc?

Are you retarded? Of course you can't get pregnant in your eye. What the fuck would even get pregnant? Do you need me to pull out a chart of the eye's make-up? There's no eggs in there, moron. Even if some monster came in your eye, do you think you'd have a baby?

Hey, don't talk to him like that!

Look, I know there are no eggs in there! I'm not a bird!

Okay, so you are retarded. But you can get your sex ed from Gojyo. He's the sex ed instructor.

We don't need sex ed! He just needs his eye healed, or- something!

If you don't know how babies are made, you need sex ed.

[still examining Zuko's eye ARE YOU SHOWING]

[no. it is a perfectly normal eye. maybe a little red and puffy from MAGIC GOO, but...]

I know how babies are made! ... For people!

It's pretty much the same for birds. And most other animals.

IT WAS A TWINKLING PINK BLOB WITH WINGS!

Did you flush it.

No, we didn't have time. It just happened.

[stands up, grabs Zuko by the back of the shirt, and marches him over to the sink]

[undignified yelp]

HEY!

[bends him over the sink, turning the water on]

The first thing you do when you get a foreign substance in your eye is flush it. That's because, if it's dangerous, you don't want to give it any time at all to work past the surface or to grind it in by blinking. Next time a monster comes in your eye, beeline for the sink.

Keep your eye open, okay? [cupping a hand under the flow]

I'll remember that next time I'm fighting a monster near convenient plumbing.

Not much running water in a library.

[WATCHING YOU CLOSELY }8| ]

I'm pretty sure the libraries have bathrooms, for when their patrons need to take a piss. Not that I hang out there.

[flushing his eye :/] I'll give you some eyedrops after and will also guarantee that you are not pregnant if you like.